On Advice

The funny thing about advice is that sometimes when you are giving it, you can’t see the truth of it in your own life.

Take a recent conversation with my Father in Law.  My Hunny had Skyped him to wish him Happy Father’s Day, and during the lovely conversation that ensued, my fil went on about how bad it was back home in the UK – he was talking about cutbacks to funding and the likes – implying that it was so much better this side of the pond.  Then, moments later, when asked about a project he was working on, he was going on about how they were having trouble getting it done under-budget and how expensive things are and how there are basically “crooks” on this side of the pond.  So then, it looks like there is bad everywhere, right?  But there is also good!  LOTS of it.  Both sides of the pond, if we’re honest.

And then he went on to say how they were going to “keep on keeping on” – and see their dream, their vision, through to a reality – doing whatever it takes along the way to make it a reality.  Yep, as you should.  Yet, I am certain that eventually one day, when we tell them of our plans to move over the pond ourselves, they will be full of words of caution, don’t do its, and how could you even considers.  What if the advice we give others were on the condition that we take that advice ourselves.  That when we want others to encourage us in our dreams it meant we had to encourage others in theirs.  I don’t know, it sounds like that would be a nice way to live, no?

And what if obstacles come… should we jump at the first one and tell our friend, “see?  Told you so?” or should we remind them gently that this is their goal, their prize, and that it’s worth fighting for?  See, I’m the latter.  I am the person who will tell my friends I believe in their dreams, in their goals.  Unless I see inherent danger ahead, and even then, I will always come alongside them with words of support and encouragement.  I believe in dreaming.  I believe that to be happy we should FOLLOW those dreams where they lead us.  I mean, yes, sometimes we’ll fall flat on our faces and have to pick up the pieces and start over, but what a learning experience!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I hope I am wrong. I hope that when we finally tell our family, they will stand up and cheer for us – that they will lean in excitedly and ask all about all the little plans we have and enthusiastically encourage us.  But I’m a bit of realist.  I know they won’t be happy.  Beyond that we will be thousands of miles away, we will be moving with some of their grandbabies.  I know it’ll be a shock, and I hope I can be as supportive to them in dealing with the news as I hope they will be towards us in accepting the news.  I hope they will dream with us and eventually become excited for our adventure.

How did your family take your “big announcement”?

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Categories: Moving To UK | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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