Boo to the Naysayers

Honestly?!

When you have a dream, do you listen to naysayers? What are naysayers? Are they truly “the voice of reason” or does naysaying stem from a certain insecurity or jealousy when faced with someone living their dreams? Why would that be?

I shared our dream the other day with an older man in our church.  I explained how this wasn’t a “impulsive” idea, that we’d been thinking about it for a long time, and that it was a dream of both of ours for many, many years (long before we ever met even!) and his words were so lacking in encouragement and comfort.  It near broke my heart.

He, of course, listed all the woes of the UK, Europe in general, and the foolishness of wanting to leave Canada (in that order, and don’t anyone remind me that the UK is NOT part of Europe, I know that… he apparently forgot.)… but then he started on some very strange things indeed.

For example… “they probably won’t hire you because of your accent” and “once you are there you will never be able to come back“.  What? and WHAT?  Now, let’s discard the latter first… of course we can come back.  I am a Canadian citizen by birth – I have a stronger claim to come back than I have to move there in the first place.  My Hunny is not only married to me, but he’s a citizen by his own rights. Odd, I tell ya.

The first one though stumped me.  Not only do I hope and pray it is completely unfounded – as England is a multicultural country with many people speaking with varying accents from Canadian to Pakistani, but what a horrible seed of doubt to plant in someone’s head!!!  I mean, really??  How useful is that a critique?  I mean, it’s not like I can help the accent I have, unless I “fake” a British accent which would get me caught out so fast it’d make your head spin.  And I think might be taken as me mocking their beautiful accent.  So why say it?

Is it that people are jealous of seeing others reach for their dreams as they sit complacently in their own lives with no goals and ambitions?  Or is it just boredom, keeping the status quo, ignorance?  Does anyone making a decision of this magnitude do so hastily?  I doubt it – the paperwork alone leaves a lot of time for reflection.  Yesterday I was feeling a little sick from those anxiety butterflies, but then I was comforted again and again by little “God-incidences” that reassured me that this is the right path… so far as we’ve tread it anyhow.

I am blessed though.  One of my bestest friends in the whole world is the complete opposite. She’s all about encouragement… from the first tears of realisation a year ago that it would mean we would very rarely see each other in person again in this lifetime to boosting my energy and motivation when I get stuck in my purging.  Everyone should have a friend like mine.  Thanks Jo!

I guess I’ll just take some good advice from Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters:

Have a POSITIVE day!

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Categories: Moving To UK | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Boo to the Naysayers

  1. Stephanie

    Don’t sweat it too much! We went through the same thing, it was really tough, it gets worse before it gets better. Kindly thank people for their opinions when they share it, then mentally take what you need from it and discard the rest. Most people operate and react from their own prejudices, fears, and experiences. No one has lived your life and has your dreams, and only you and your your family can decide what is best for you.

    My friends were the most supportive, my parents and family were pretty tough about it. My parents have come around, now that they have seen we are safe, happy, and living a great life they are a lot more relaxed and happy for us.

    Ps. I forgot to mention last time I commented. The biggest shock we had was coming to the UK you start at zero in terms of personal credit. It is very difficult to get started when you get here, and money laundering can be a huge problem so if you show up with a big cheque you will get a lot of questions and will need to prove where the funds came from. You won’t be able to get a credit card for 6 plus months after you start getting a salary paid into your account. As far as I know all of the banks use visa debit cards here which means your card looks like a credit card but the funds come out of your checking account. It is how you pay debit, and credit online. My fiancé came a week before I did and brought our savings in a certified cheque from our bank. Because of the amount of our cheque they were able to get him a visa debit card. When I arrived and was settled we decided I would open an account in a different bank that we had seen commercials for to see if one bank was better than the other. The second bank told me that as I had no credit and was not employed they could only give me a cash card which is a bank card that can only be used to take money out of the bank and can’t be used to pay in stores like a debit card. I asked hem about the visa debit cars and I needed the option to pay in store. They said the only way to get that was to do a credit check and if I was turned down it would leave a mark on my credit rating. I decided to talk to my fiancés bank forts before I decided and I was able to get my name added to his account, so we both have the visa debit cards now.

    We also had to pay 6 months rent plus deposit in advance because we had no credit, and no jobs. We had to get a pay as you go cell as we couldn’t get approved for a contract. If you decide to get a car, you will start off with insurance like you would as a teenager. Some companies would take letters of no claims from Canadian companies, but it is not widely done, and we needed to get insurance very quickly when we bought a used car quickly and couldn’t get anying cheaper. We lucked out because my fiancé is English and has an English licence. It costs a lot more if you are driving on Canadian licences, so I was added as a secondary driver.

    I think that is enough for now! Keep your chin up, it will all work out as it should! It was definitely a hard move for us, but at then end of the day, we are happy and safe and that is what really matters!

    • Thanks for all the advice!!! Keep it coming, and the encouragement too! 😉

      What bank did your husband end up going with? I think the scenario will be quite similar with my Hunny taking over a certified cheque for the profits from selling our house plus all our savings… and I will be sure to get a note from the insurance company about the claims history – can’t hurt. 😉

      As for paying 6 months of rent in advance, we were sort of expecting that to be honest… we’d read enough about it over at BE. It’s all planned. The hard part will be finding a place that allows a dog to come with us… as they don’t know how good our pup is. 🙂

  2. Vicky

    Glad to hear that things are moving ahead again. We still hope to be in the UK this year but have had very many bumps in our road that I too sometimes doubt it. Thanks for the dose of positivity 🙂

    • I think we can get wrapped up in our doubts and it destroys any ability to move forward. I think a sensible dose of doubt is okay… it’s wise to be cautious… but I think if it prevents us from gaining momentum towards ANY goal (meaning, if we’re stuck with our feet in the mud and going nowhere fast) – that’s not such a good thing. I don’t know if you are the prayin’ sort – but that’s what my Hunny and I did… we prayed that the path would be made clear to us, but that a complete roadblock would stop us if we were heading down the wrong one. So far the sailing has been smoother (although there are those pesky butterflies!) than we expected. 🙂 I hope the same for you!!!

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